Have you ever considered how many things you do and believe in your life \”because everyone else does\”? You\’ve probably heard this excuse often if you have teenagers who have engaged in undesirable actions. For instance, we didn\’t know until later that when our teenage son passed is driving test, he picked up his best friend, and they drove in a horrible rainstorm to the mall. \”Why would you do that,\” I asked. \”Because everyone else does it, mom,\” he replied.
Do we as adults use this statement to excuse, motivate, or justify our actions, too?
Growing up in Holland made me a very liberal thinker; you learn that everything is up for discussion and nothing is set in stone. Rules can be bent until both parties agree. You can imagine that it was quite a culture shock for us to come to America where rules are rules – no offense! (smile)
An experience I had while a teenager in Holland will give you the right perspective. I ran a red traffic light on my bicycle, and the policeman who pulled me over didn\’t give me a ticket after he graciously and patiently worked through my actions. I don\’t know if that would have happened in America.
The policeman first asked me if I knew I had run the red light, to which I replied, \”I didn\’t know you were watching me. Everybody does it!\” He agreed with me and said it was back luck he\’d seen me and that I didn\’t deserve to be ticketed. In Holland, bikers are sacred. At the time, I imagined he was thinking, \”If everyone else does it, why not her?\”
When living in America years later, I found out that there are certain rules that are not negotiable. Nobody here argues with law enforcement officers about your point of view after breaking a law… except, maybe, if you\’re Dutch and don\’t know what everyone else does!
One day after we\’d just arrived in the country, we drove our kids to school. On the way to school we passed five stop signs. We were a happy bunch and chatting along the way, totally unaware of the police car right behind us. At every stop sign we \’kind of slowed down\’ and then crossed the road.
When we arrived at the school, a police officer knocked on my window, taking me completely by surprise. He yelled at me, \”How dare you ignore five stop signs!\” He was furious. For a short moment we thought he was going to handcuff me and transport me straight to jail. I am glad that I didn\’t repeat the same answer that I gave to the Dutch officer. But maybe this was worse. I spoke the stupid words, \”I thought that stop signs were optional.\” Honestly, I truly believed that. You can imagine the officer\’s face.
We learned our lesson. By now we know that we really must stop at stop signs because rules aren\’t optional in America. But what\’s the point of my running-stop-signs story? My behavior was wrong, and I should have used commonsense because our lives and other people\’s lives are in danger when we run traffic lights. It\’s a win-win to stop when we are told to stop in this case. It\’s not optional to ignore a stop sign while driving on the road.
But stopping isn\’t an option when following your Soul\’s path. Refuse to be stopped when you\’re following the voice of your Soul. If you keep on going on the road to your dreams, you\’ll become unstoppable.
There will always be some who will tell you to stop because they don\’t understand or share your perspective or dream. Even if it doesn\’t make sense to them, NEVER stop and subordinate yourself to the voices and rules outside of yourself, especially if everybody else does.
We all have our own unique path, and that\’s very different from what everybody else does Do you get the point? What is your Soul telling you?
Saskia Roell is a Soul Guidance Coach, radio host, bestselling author, and co-author with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey and Deepak Chopra. An in-demand speaker, clairvoyant healer and mother of five, she empowers you to move out of your comfort zone, break through your fears, and go after your heart\’s desires. Download her complimentary \”21-Day Roadmap to Your Dreams\” program.